Ten Royal Duties of a Queen
As you know, I started 2018 with a heavy heart. Many of you who have been regularly reading my posts on this blog know my story, and I admit that the 2018 me was an avalanche in the making.
However, things have gotten very interesting lately in 2019. Comparing myself
now, and the version of myself that early 2018, a lot of character development
has taken place, and it's partly thanks to the mantra I have started to condition
my mind ever since I got the hang of it. For the ladies reading this right now,
if you're like me who has been going through a lot of shit the past year, or is
going through something heavy this year or this month or this week, kindly stop
whatever you are doing, visualize every problem in your life right in front of
you and all the nasty bits you hate about yourself and (with grace) repeat
after me:
F*** YA'LL, I AM
A QUEEN.
The statement is powerful -- as claiming to be royalty is something I
admit to be way over the top and somewhat a delusion to a mere observers' eyes -- but
it works. Calling one's self a queen is somewhat considered a significant adjustment. A lot of people may even consider it as "hilas" or "hambugira" as it does not go with the dalagang Filipina values of humility and meekness.
However, it is important to take note that there is a huge difference between being humble, and having a low opinion of one's self. A queen can be humble, meek and empowered at the same time, in fact, this is how a queen should even act. But what differentiates a queen is the qualities that the latter strives to achieve: being assertive, having a healthy self-esteem and sense of ego, being self-aware, having a life-long learning mindset and being empowered. Because all of these are way better than feeling victimized and dis-empowered as if your life is spiraling out of control.
However, it is important to take note that there is a huge difference between being humble, and having a low opinion of one's self. A queen can be humble, meek and empowered at the same time, in fact, this is how a queen should even act. But what differentiates a queen is the qualities that the latter strives to achieve: being assertive, having a healthy self-esteem and sense of ego, being self-aware, having a life-long learning mindset and being empowered. Because all of these are way better than feeling victimized and dis-empowered as if your life is spiraling out of control.
The mind is as powerful as the stomach. If one keeps feeding it lies and self-pitying, self-degrading comments (even for the sake of humor) there's a high chance that the mind will become sick and this sickness
will manifest itself in one's reality. People shouldn't treat their mind like the way people keep feeding their stomachs junk food, because we all know eating too much junk food can
manifest itself in an unhealthy body.
I have a lot of women that I want to pay tribute for, for helping me in
this transformation, especially my fellow tribeswomen, Anne and Gail. These are
one of the perks of having a girl tribe because we all help each other become
the best version of ourselves, and sometimes, one way of doing that is by
owning it. I tell myself I am a queen
every now and then and encourage my female friends to say it to themselves as
well, even and especially during the times they
hardly feel like it.
So without much further ado my fellow Lord and Lady readers, I present
to you the ten royal duties of her royal majesty, The Protean Creator, Roxanne Marie:
1. A QUEEN TAKES CARE OF HERSELF
Contrary to popular belief that a queen ought to be doted on and pampered by her royal subjects, a queen knows how to take care of herself and does takes care of herself. She is highly aware of the things she puts in or on her body, her mind and her heart. She knows that the only way she can continue to protect and rule her empire is if she can protect her self, her heart and her soul.
She trains herself to become stronger, smarter, faster, fiercer and she is wise enough to let go and unlearn the things that do not serve her anymore. A queen is a warrior, a sorceress, a mage and she always aims to be better than who she was yesterday.
2. A QUEEN PUTS HERSELF FIRST BY PUTTING HER PEOPLE FIRST
For a queen, she has ingrained this in her mind that the state of her kingdom (how she manages her friendships, her people and her life in general) describes what type of queen she really is. A queen knows that she, herself can be either her own worst enemy or her own best ally, and how she manages to conquer her true enemies (her own fears, inadequacies, and prejudices) will determine the state of her empire.
A true queen serves her people without expecting anything in return, because she knows that the best reward she will get out of that experience is the experience itself, and the lessons it provided. These lessons she will use to her advantage in the longer run.
3. A QUEEN DOES NOT ALLOW HERSELF TO GET ADDICTED BY EXTERNAL VALIDATION
A queen knows very well that her role in her life is not to be liked and not to please other people. She stays authentic and true to herself despite all the voices around her.
She treats compliments and validation from other people like how people on a diet treat sweets and junk food. She doesn't need people telling her that she is beautiful, that she is desirable, that she is competent, that she is intelligent, that she is a good person, because she has already convinced herself in all totality that she is or the very least, that she is working on them.
However, if she is presented by such, she thanks the person and acknowledges their sincerity, happily lets it pass by the other ear and moves on. She does not allow herself to get addicted by any type of praise from the world, because she knows she doesn't need it.
4. A QUEEN SETS BOUNDARIES EVEN AMONG HER MOST TRUSTED SUBJECTS
A queen is the epitome of class. While she is polite, considerate, and respectful to each and every entity around her, she also knows when to be a bitch and how to be royally honest. While a queen serves her people and is kind to a fault, she is not a doormat, she is not a pushover. She has dignity and knows when her trust and kindness are being abused. While she puts herself on a higher standard than what is expected of her, she expects the same level of treatment from other people.
A queen is kind to herself, is considerate to herself and respects herself enough to know that her resources (time, mental space, energy, etc.) are limited, thus, she knows when to say no, and how to say it in the most courteous way possible. She also knows when and how to reprimand herself when she feels that she is falling from grace.
Contrary to popular belief that a queen ought to be doted on and pampered by her royal subjects, a queen knows how to take care of herself and does takes care of herself. She is highly aware of the things she puts in or on her body, her mind and her heart. She knows that the only way she can continue to protect and rule her empire is if she can protect her self, her heart and her soul.
She trains herself to become stronger, smarter, faster, fiercer and she is wise enough to let go and unlearn the things that do not serve her anymore. A queen is a warrior, a sorceress, a mage and she always aims to be better than who she was yesterday.
2. A QUEEN PUTS HERSELF FIRST BY PUTTING HER PEOPLE FIRST
For a queen, she has ingrained this in her mind that the state of her kingdom (how she manages her friendships, her people and her life in general) describes what type of queen she really is. A queen knows that she, herself can be either her own worst enemy or her own best ally, and how she manages to conquer her true enemies (her own fears, inadequacies, and prejudices) will determine the state of her empire.
A true queen serves her people without expecting anything in return, because she knows that the best reward she will get out of that experience is the experience itself, and the lessons it provided. These lessons she will use to her advantage in the longer run.
3. A QUEEN DOES NOT ALLOW HERSELF TO GET ADDICTED BY EXTERNAL VALIDATION
A queen knows very well that her role in her life is not to be liked and not to please other people. She stays authentic and true to herself despite all the voices around her.
She treats compliments and validation from other people like how people on a diet treat sweets and junk food. She doesn't need people telling her that she is beautiful, that she is desirable, that she is competent, that she is intelligent, that she is a good person, because she has already convinced herself in all totality that she is or the very least, that she is working on them.
However, if she is presented by such, she thanks the person and acknowledges their sincerity, happily lets it pass by the other ear and moves on. She does not allow herself to get addicted by any type of praise from the world, because she knows she doesn't need it.
4. A QUEEN SETS BOUNDARIES EVEN AMONG HER MOST TRUSTED SUBJECTS
A queen is the epitome of class. While she is polite, considerate, and respectful to each and every entity around her, she also knows when to be a bitch and how to be royally honest. While a queen serves her people and is kind to a fault, she is not a doormat, she is not a pushover. She has dignity and knows when her trust and kindness are being abused. While she puts herself on a higher standard than what is expected of her, she expects the same level of treatment from other people.
A queen is kind to herself, is considerate to herself and respects herself enough to know that her resources (time, mental space, energy, etc.) are limited, thus, she knows when to say no, and how to say it in the most courteous way possible. She also knows when and how to reprimand herself when she feels that she is falling from grace.
5. A QUEEN BELIEVES SHE IS CAPABLE OF GREATER THINGS
A queen believes in herself. She is her own greatest ally, her own greatest motivator. She knows better than to continuously pity herself and dwell in bitterness. She knows it's okay to cry. In fact, she does allow herself to cry (whenever she needs to, a lot, and preferably alone), but she knows how to parent herself through tough situations, and motivates herself to rise above the pain because a true queen turns pain into power.
6. A QUEEN MASTERS THE RULES OF THE GAME
A queen plays. She does not only learn the rules of the game, she masters it, even the rules in between the rules. Why? Because she knows that it's a step closer into getting what she wants, but she does this with class and nobility, like a true queen.
She is relentless in the game as she is relentless in her conquests of expanding her empire -- she plays to win but plays by the rules, staying as noble as a lion, as subtle as a dove and as cunning as a snake.
7. A QUEEN MAKES THE MOST OF WHAT SHE HAS
8. A QUEEN KNOWS THAT AT THE END OF THE DAY, SHE IS STILL A QUEEN
Just like anyone, a queen has her limits. She is still human, and is still vulnerable to bitter parts of humanness, despite doing everything in her power to make the most of what she has. She fully embraces this instead of denying that the limits do not exist. She handles herself with care at her most vulnerable, and knows that guilt-tripping herself would mean she is going against everything she is standing up for.
After a tiring day full of experiencing loss and defeat, she lets her hair down and fixes her posture, and tells herself "There is still tomorrow. I can try again tomorrow".
9. A QUEEN FIXES ANOTHER QUEEN'S CROWN
A true queen never talks badly about about other women, because before she ever decided to consider herself a queen, she is a member of womanity. She considers herself human before anything else as well, thus she always includes the well-being of her subjects before saying and doing anything.
She considers it murderous and treacherous to destroy another woman's (or another person's) self-esteem in order to bring herself up. She is fully aware that this is how the world works but she does what she can on her end in order to change it. In order to do this, a queen needs to be someone who inspires people to become their best selves.
10. A QUEEN SLAYS HER OWN DRAGONS (OR RIDES THEM)
A queen is not a fairy tale character. She is not a damsel in distress. She does not wait for a prince or a knight in shining armor or anyone else to come on a horseback and save her. She saves herself. She saves her empire. She slays her own dragons or better yet, rides them (uses them to her advantage).
She may ask for help especially when she needs it, inspiring anyone who has gone through the same terrors she is going through, to defeat the common enemy. A queen is wise enough to make pacts with other lords and ladies, especially when she feels that she cannot do the saving all by herself.
With that said, a queen doesn't need a king or at least, this queen doesn't. She may want a king, someone who sees her as an equal, a partner, a teammate, who she will help and will help her on the journey to becoming their best selves, not a subordinate, not property, not someone he is entitled to as an emotional dumpster.
Either she gets a king who will assist her on her conquests, or she lives happily ever after, ruling her empire all on her own. <3
I would like to pay tribute to these amazing ladies (and JV hahaha didn't forget about you bro) for aiding me in my transformation during the 2018 - 2019 paradigm shift:
A queen believes in herself. She is her own greatest ally, her own greatest motivator. She knows better than to continuously pity herself and dwell in bitterness. She knows it's okay to cry. In fact, she does allow herself to cry (whenever she needs to, a lot, and preferably alone), but she knows how to parent herself through tough situations, and motivates herself to rise above the pain because a true queen turns pain into power.
6. A QUEEN MASTERS THE RULES OF THE GAME
A queen plays. She does not only learn the rules of the game, she masters it, even the rules in between the rules. Why? Because she knows that it's a step closer into getting what she wants, but she does this with class and nobility, like a true queen.
She is relentless in the game as she is relentless in her conquests of expanding her empire -- she plays to win but plays by the rules, staying as noble as a lion, as subtle as a dove and as cunning as a snake.
7. A QUEEN MAKES THE MOST OF WHAT SHE HAS
A queen knows that efficiency is key. Her resources are limited, and
although she knows she has the capacity to do anything, she cannot do everything (at least not all by herself). She makes use
of her time, her energy, her mental space, and channel her efforts on things
that are important to her wisely and in the most efficient and effective way
possible.
She hustles, and sprints and scores but she also disciplines herself to
be more efficient in slaying her game.
8. A QUEEN KNOWS THAT AT THE END OF THE DAY, SHE IS STILL A QUEEN
Just like anyone, a queen has her limits. She is still human, and is still vulnerable to bitter parts of humanness, despite doing everything in her power to make the most of what she has. She fully embraces this instead of denying that the limits do not exist. She handles herself with care at her most vulnerable, and knows that guilt-tripping herself would mean she is going against everything she is standing up for.
After a tiring day full of experiencing loss and defeat, she lets her hair down and fixes her posture, and tells herself "There is still tomorrow. I can try again tomorrow".
9. A QUEEN FIXES ANOTHER QUEEN'S CROWN
A true queen never talks badly about about other women, because before she ever decided to consider herself a queen, she is a member of womanity. She considers herself human before anything else as well, thus she always includes the well-being of her subjects before saying and doing anything.
10. A QUEEN SLAYS HER OWN DRAGONS (OR RIDES THEM)
A queen is not a fairy tale character. She is not a damsel in distress. She does not wait for a prince or a knight in shining armor or anyone else to come on a horseback and save her. She saves herself. She saves her empire. She slays her own dragons or better yet, rides them (uses them to her advantage).
She may ask for help especially when she needs it, inspiring anyone who has gone through the same terrors she is going through, to defeat the common enemy. A queen is wise enough to make pacts with other lords and ladies, especially when she feels that she cannot do the saving all by herself.
With that said, a queen doesn't need a king or at least, this queen doesn't. She may want a king, someone who sees her as an equal, a partner, a teammate, who she will help and will help her on the journey to becoming their best selves, not a subordinate, not property, not someone he is entitled to as an emotional dumpster.
Either she gets a king who will assist her on her conquests, or she lives happily ever after, ruling her empire all on her own. <3
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I would like to pay tribute to these amazing ladies (and JV hahaha didn't forget about you bro) for aiding me in my transformation during the 2018 - 2019 paradigm shift:
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