Story Time: The One with the Earphones

Interesting thing happened today.

I was on my way home with a couple of friends. We had just finished eating lunch in a fancy steakhouse in the middle of the afternoon, a courtesy of Eatigo™ for the amazing budget-friendly discounted meals to young, dumb and broke cheapskate kids like us. I had to split from my friends because I remembered that I had errands to run around the city.

Normally, when I go on my solo city adventures, a lot of dead time takes place (walking around, waiting in line or riding a jeep) and during these passive moments, I always drift off to the music I listen to on my phones with my earphones.

My earphones lock me in place in my protective bubble of catchy tunes and poetic lyrics. The practice makes me forget about my problems for a while and just jive with whatever my phone was playing to. Not to mention the perks of having to not engage in unwanted social situations (like being catcalled, being endorsed of a product or being engaged with undesired small talk) with other people that would just leave me feeling awkward, embarrassed or uncomfortable right after. 
Earphones are one of the finest inventions created by the human race. They are convenient and easy and the protective bubble it provides saves me from going through all the discomfort I've been avoiding. In all honesty, I would even prioritize these over my apartment keys every time I would leave the house. 

The protective bubble bound by Spotify and my earphones was my safe haven. When I’m in a foul mood, I could just play some happy music and make all the bad juju go away. Or if I just want to feel the ditz of the illusive kilig and young blooming love for a while, I could just play whatever it is on my phone that could provide that. In case you guys don’t know, I love role play and stepping into a fictional character's shoes. Sometimes, I even listen to musicals on my playlist just to sympathize with a character from the story. It also works when I want to woman up, when I'm about to brave through all the tests the universe puts me through. When I feel like wanting to be melodramatic for a bit, I could just play some heartbreak songs on my phone and activate the #instantmaoyfeels just to ride along with the melancholy. Given that our current level of technology still wouldn’t allow mind reading to be easily accessible anyway, I don’t get to worry about being judged or being ridiculed by the music I listen to or unsa pa ang tripping nako (as long as I keep my music listening sessions private). 

Earlier though, I did something different. I didn’t put on my earphones and activate my usual protective bubble, my instantly gratifying comfort zone. I actually connected and engaged with my environment for a bit, even to the point of engaging a short conversation with a homeless woman. I actually asked her why she wouldn’t want to receive my pack of biscuits I wanted to share with her, and she said, “ang flour sa taga-laing nasud day kay daghan ug poison (the flour from other countries have a lot of poison)” So I asked her if she would accept my can of tuna, she said “Ayaw nalang day, kailangan paman gud nako na initon ayha nako isagol sa kan-on (Nevermind inday, I still need to have it heated before I eat it with rice)” I just nodded my head and gently went on my way. 

I really like that woman. If I wasn’t having a difficult time with my groceries and my social awkwardness, I would have stayed longer and maybe invited her somewhere near for a Filipino meal. I’m probably going to do that next time. But what she said did make sense. From that short conversation, I somehow realized that I missed a lot.

I missed a lot in terms of noticing what was in front of me: the warmth of the sun on my skin, the peculiar people passing by me as I walked, the small discrete flowers growing on the cracks of the pavement, the smell of street food being fried on my left, senior high school students chatting on the sidewalk about where they were going to eat dinner on my right, criminology college boys smiling and catching the edge of my peripheral as I pass by, the cats and dogs I see, the homeless people asking for alms, and despite the fact that I was still in Colon area, one of the most congested parts of Cebu city, where everything about it is inherently against the breadth of my being, I felt ashamed. Not because I was in this urban place of stress and smoke, but because I wasn’t being thankful enough to even be in this state where I am: alive and probably a thousand times in a better condition than most of the people around me. 

I realized that I needed to connect more, and while being in that state of comfort by my earphones was okay because it felt safe, I realized that the more I stayed there, the more I desensitized a part of my being human to be empathetic and connected to everyone around me. So here’s to you Roxanne Marie, you made a stunning realization today. 

Let’s start inviting random homeless people for good conversations na? What is 30 pesos and a bit of discomfort, if you could be reciprocated by an experience of taking a glimpse of someone else’s soul for a while? And who knows, you might even enjoy it. ;)

Stay connected everyone.

It's always pretty good to take a break for once.