In case 2018 is your worst year

Long time no write!

It's Tuesday the 21^st here in Cebu and I'm writing because I want to talk about stories. Last week's  Sunday, I listened to a very interesting speaker. The message took me by surprise because it was unlike any other Sunday message I've listened to. In fact, it was ingrained with a part-TED Talk which left me nodding in interest while the preacher was talking. The content caught my attention, and I hope with the content of this article, I'd catch yours too.

I will start with a quote. One interesting quote I got from this guy was this:

"Ang tao ay isang kuwentong binalot ng balat"

Translation -- "a person is a story wrapped in human skin" -- and it couldn't be any truer. "The one thing that sets us apart from orangutans, chimpanzees, apes aside from a genetic level, is our ability to tell stories." the preacher continued. We are products of the stories that we believe in, the stories that we tell ourselves, our battle cries, our comfort songs, our love poems, the bedtime stories that we tell our children. 

Knowing that we are stories is not the hard part though, but creating our own stories is, because it requires us to unlearn some of the things we were conditioned into believing, and learn and relearn how to live our story.

And being caught up in a fast-track world leaves us no room to realize and remember what stories we are telling to ourselves so we fall into these traps that we are powerless against our adversities. Our loneliness, misery and other ill feelings are just parts of the cherry on top of the ice cream. We go through hell inside our heads and wrack our brains to try and make sense out of our own existence in this giant rock we live in but it would seem that no matter where we look, no matter what reason is served to us on a silver platter, it never seems to be enough. 

It's ironic but the more we allow this cycle to go on and on, there will come a time when we'll wake up and look at ourselves in the mirror and realized that we became the very same person we said we didn't want to be. 

Sometimes we get caught up in all our earthly demands that we forget the fact that our lives are just fleeting and we're all going to die soon. I’m okay with that, but what I’m not okay with is leaving this earth without contributing to the betterment of the other souls living in it, even just for a little bit.

For most well-meaning people, our goal is usually to leave the world a better place than when we found it. In fact, this is the very reason why religions and belief systems exist, to inspire us to be better souls, to help bring pieces of heaven on earth even for just a tiny bit, and there is nothing wrong in this, it is even somewhat inspiring to do so.

It’s only wrong if we use our belief system to rationalize our lapses of judgment, our wrong decisions or our lack of character, our racism, our bigotry and our hate. This is not okay, okay?

The world is already is what it is right now -- shattered into pieces almost beyond repair -- and sometimes, we want to shout and question the high heavens on the existence of a God who would allow tragedies like these to happen, but the thing is, the world is broken beyond repair because it is a reflection of its caretakers – yes, that's right: Us humans.

There is really no one beyond our planet that we can blame other than ourselves for our seemingly dismal state even if you look at things in an atheistic or theistic way. God gave us free will, basically he allows us to choose to do whatever we want within the bounds of our physical limits, but that doesn't mean we're free from the consequences of our actions. People choose to do shitty things, thus we have a shitty world. On the other end, since there's really no god existing at all, we humans are basically the authority figures since we are the ones possessing the most amount of awareness. Thus, it still follows that we're accountable for most of the dismal state of our world. Of course natural calamities sometimes happen, but we are the major contributors to it – us. Not God. Not the Devil. Not Santa Claus. Us.

Since tragedies regularly happen in this world, people have different ways of responding to it. Based on that Sunday’s message, there are three different types of responses:

1. Fragility

When tragedy strikes, people sink and quit. Just like that. Some Christians even use their own faith to rationalize their fragility. Someone gets his heart broken and this guy turns to his faith to gain comfort "It's okay. God loves me for who I am, He will never leave me nor forsake me, unlike my ex." Why is it that people have to go through such crap before going back to their faith? Did they come to realize that whatever they were doing wasn't giving them satisfaction anymore, and that's why they're turning to whatever they can find to gain that sense of comfort? Probably.

It can make anyone seem like hypocrites at this point and I’m not the one trying to wash my hands on this one. I am guilty of this too. Like a few years back when people were "too busy to go to church and pray" because we were all too busy dealing with life. A huge test came up and that was only one of the rarest times I got to pray wholeheartedly in a long time, in a similar fashion, other people also go to church to ask for deliverance. There's nothing wrong with this to be honest, it just makes people look bad (for a while). But, we're all human, and sometimes, people really have to go through a shitload of crap before realizing that they do need help. Usually all the crap that we go through is self-inflicted and if you want to avoid going through the same thing again, kicking things up a notch is necessary and actually trying to change how you do things and unlearn some things (Take note Roxanne). If along the way, going back to your faith will help, then by all means, do go back to it wholeheartedly and not only because you need a temporary band - aid.

2. Resilience

I honestly thought that being resilient was a good thing. However, the preacher had a slightly different implication when it comes to being resilient. Being resilient in the midst of a trial or a tragedy means staying stagnant while going through these rough times. You survived the storm but that's it. You just survived. You didn't allow the tragedy to make you stronger, to make you better, you didn't learn anything.

This is just for laughs don't worry

Out of the three that is mentioned in this post, this is the one that I can most relate to. Because there were a lot of times while going through a hell-raised college program that I only "survived". Sure my calculating and thinking skills were greatly enhanced in that span of so-and-so years but that was expected since chemical engineering is one of the best bachelor in science programs in the university. Even after spending how many years in the program, there were still several aspects were far from improvement (e.g. my attitude towards things, my patience, tolerance, temper, sense of responsibility, level-headedness etc.). These traits were maybe less necessary in the program, but are super necessary in life, and I only got to learn all of these when I made a decision to abruptly take several steps away from my textbooks, projects and submissions as means to let go of my academic anxiety and started actively pursuing and practicing these things.

3. Anti-Fragility

Have you ever heard of the hydra? The hydra is one of the most fearsome monsters in Greek mythology. It’s big, it’s bad, and it has multiple heads that can breathe fire. What do you think will happen if you try to cut off one of its heads? Two more will grow in its place and both with the ability to breathe fire.

I'm pretty sure I'm way prettier than a hydra but oh well, I'm a hydra

This is what anti-fragility looks like as a Greek monster. When life hits you with a tragedy, you don’t allow yourself to go rock bottom, you don’t give up. Squirm if you must, crawl if you must but you don’t give up. You fight. You let the pain that you’re experiencing be the driving force. You trust the pain, you trust its temporariness, and you trust the hell-like process. For each pang of pain you feel, you don’t wallow in it, you work twice as hard. This is how you become stronger. This is how you should fight. This is how you become a better person; this is how you grow. Because at the end of the day, that’s what’s important— the moment where you conquered all your demons, all your fears and insecurities— rising out of hell and breaking through the earth's crust, a victor in your own story.

I know it’s strange for a pastor to be talking about Greek mythology in one of his Sunday messages. Partially growing up in a born-again Christian community, I used to think that they’d discourage any type of story that isn’t found in the Bible. This guy believed however, that the myths, the stories, the epics that are passed on from our ancestors, and those which are circulated around our community, are there for a God-given reason— to draw strength and inspiration from in the midst of difficulty. For me, that makes sense.

Looking back, I realized that all that tragedies I’ve experienced were wasted because of how I responded to it. Every criticism I received, every trial that punched me in the face, I didn’t rise above them. I just stooped down to the level of my oppressors, my own negative voices and became petty; I held grudges and made myself bitter instead of better. I allowed the negativity existing in my head to take control of me, and like a vessel under too much self-induced pressure, I cracked. I broke, and for a while, everything for me was hopeless. But in all honesty, I don’t regret my struggles, and I’ll probably never regret it because this paved the way to a paradigm shift in my life, and until now, amidst all the cuts and bruises that I’ve earned and will continue to earn, I still am fighting and working on where I am lacking, and I’m getting better at becoming better every single day.

Don’t waste your tragedies. Use it to make the greatest plot twist in your story.

So at the moment, which one are you of the three? Are you going through your own earthly hell at the moment? If so, that’s not the most important thing.  What are you doing about it, and what are you going to do about it? Are you going to let the pain define you or are you going to let go of that victim mindset? Be a freaking hydra, take control of your own story. Give yourself the grandest plot twist ever because you’re worth it.

x

Credits to my friends:

-A & A for allowing me to third wheel that Sunday with you guys <3 You guys are so cute xD
-Catherine and Abegail for listening to me rant about this last Jedi Council Meeting. Love you queens. :*

😍