Familiarity Breeds Contempt

I was baptized in the Roman Catholic Christian faith, so I basically grew up in a Roman Catholic set up yet these days, it has been a long while since I enjoyed a good Sunday's evangelical mass. Usually it's due to the communication barriers between me and the priest delivering the message. On usual Sundays with these communication barriers in place, I'd space out or try my best not to fall asleep in my seat (Yes. I'm very guilty of that as well). The mentioned communication barriers and some other things are the reasons why I think about transferring to Protestant churches because I feel like the church that I currently go to with my family is keeping me stagnant in terms of my spiritual growth.

But then, last Sunday, a very interesting priest who was a friend of my Lola officiated the mass. He was from the US so he communicated in English very well (in a Visayan mass), so there were lesser communication barriers during the homily (for me). 

What he talked about last Sunday was something that I can relate to immensely in my current situation. He was talking about the story when in one of Jesus and his disciples went around to spread the good news. In one of their stops, Jesus and his disciples went to Nazareth, Jesus' hometown. In this place where he considered home, where he grew up in-- he was rejected. "Rejection hurts, doesn't it? It hurts less when it comes from strangers, but hurts more when it comes from people who you are familiar with" the priest said. That's what Jesus felt. This prophet who went around different towns and preaching the gospel, healing the sick, the blind, the lepers and raising the dead-- people who were basically strangers to him, yet recognized him right away for who he truly is, the Messiah-- yet in his own hometown, he was only seen as the shabby son of a local carpenter (Lk 4:22).

So ouch. That must have hurt right? Being rejected by people who you consider close to. If you've tried reaching out to someone, someone who you consider important, then you very well know how shitty that feels. "Familiarity breeds contempt" the priest explained. In other words, the more you know or become familiar with someone or something, the more likely that your respect for them will wear down.

And we see this everywhere. We see this in Roman Catholics transferring to different churches because they feel as if they were so familiar with the Catholic culture all their life that it's becoming less stimulating for them or boring. Sometimes, they transfer because of the people who compose it, they find that the people who compose it are toxic hypocrites. Little do they know however, that not all churches are perfect. Just like any organization, there will always be people who may or may not be as invested in the faith as you are and we need to accept that fact. That's why it's flawed to judge a belief system solely on the people that compose it, because they are human. While hypocrisy is a serious issue, if you let it get to you instead of focusing on your relationship with the faith and its philosophies, you will find it hard to actually be invested in any type of belief.

Aside from that, we see this in different relationships. We see this in us saying something offensive or saying something in an offensive manner to our parents because maybe they did something upsetting to us, or when we hurt a friend's feelings because we thought that we and our friend had become accustomed with roughhousing or making offensive jokes to each other as a way of bonding, or (quite commonly) when we curse around or yell at our spouse or SO who we have been married to or in a relationship with for years. Compare this with how you behave with someone who you have just gotten to know-- your new boss, a girl you just started courting, a new business partner-- you may not admit it, but you are actually putting the best portion of yourself forward, in other words, selling yourself.

We all take for granted other people's role in our lives, we do our best not to, but eventually we still do. That's why it's important to practice proper communication and maintain healthy boundaries in the first place. It's also helpful to recognize where we are wrong and attempt to correct our mistakes. What is proper communication? And how do we set healthy boundaries? A lot of people have different ideas on how to establish these two things, and there are many resources that can help you with it too. Just choose the one most available to you that you can understand properly.  I've attached the following videos as sample resources on tips of how to properly communicate and set healthy boundaries with a person. You can search more videos related to these on YouTube.