Black, White and the Grey Area in Between

People can only see things from their perspective and how they react to a certain situation is entirely dependent on who they are: their beliefs, their experiences, and how they see themselves. 

As children, we were taught what is "right" or "wrong", what is "good" or "bad". Our toddler world back then was as direct and simple and easy as following what our parents would say. For example: "It's wrong to throw sand at other people's eyes". Our thinking had to entirely depend on adults to tell us which is which. Only while we were growing up and started to become more interactive with the world and expanding our circles were we able to find out about the possibilities of "maybe"s and "what if"s. The statement earlier "It's wrong to throw sand at other people's eyes"  would be contradicted if it is followed by "unless you're trying to escape a potential killer".

This dividing of the world in to two main categories is also connected to what other people would call "all-or-nothing" thinking. Even full-fledged adults still suffer from this, and almost all the time, it damages their relationships with other people and their mental health.

If you have seen Les Misérables, you would know that the character Javert is an epitome of a person with an "all-or-nothing" mindset. He is a tragic fanatic, not really villainous but "a misguided  and self-destructive pursuit of justice" according to Hugo [1]. Any type of extremism can vilify and twist any concept, and this was proven somehow by Hugo in the character of Javert who respected authority and hated rebellion, somehow a little too much.

Javert was the type of person who would do things he internally distastes like reading books in order to obey authority. He rarely engaged in reflective thoughts as they were a pain for him since he associated these thoughts with rebellion.

Russel Crowe as Javert in Les Misérables (2012 film)

He lived like this throughout his life, and as he keeps encountering Jean Valjean throughout the story, he was exposed to more and more of the things he keeps failing to understand. When he was spared by Valjean in the revolutionists' barricade, he could never understand Valjean's reasoning. Valjean spared his life even though he knew very well that Javert would do nothing else except put him to prison or possibly even kill him (because the law says so). For Javert, it was his breaking point. The black-and-white thinking that he had maintained throughout his whole life made it impossible for him to continue living in a grey world, so in the end, he took his own life.

Who is this man? 

What sort of devil is he

To have me caught in a trap

And choose to let me go free?

Wipe out the past

And wash me clean off the slate!

All it would take

Was a flick of his knife

Vengeance was his

And he gave me back my life!

...

And must I now begin to doubt,

Who never doubted all these years?

My heart is stone and still it trembles

The world I have known is lost in shadow

Is he heaven or from hell?

And does he know

That granting me my life today

This man has killed me even so?

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Thoughts of Javert in "Javert's Suicide"

If you happen to identify yourself, or if someone has identified you of having black-and-white thinking, do not ignore it. It's high time you transition to removing that thinking out of your head before it damages you and your relationships with other people. It might be difficult, because you are trying to transition something that clearly isn't your default setting, and that's okay. A little improvement is better than no improvement at all. It might take a lot of time may it be days, weeks or months or sometimes, even years before you finally conquer it. Take your time, but don't wait too long that you'll lose everyone around you before you start changing for the better. Trust in the grace that you will get there and don't be too hard on yourself.

Special thanks to these blogs:

Williams, Byron (2006) Black and White Thinking Doesn't Work in a Gray World. Date Accessed: May 10, 2018 from: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/byron-williams/black-and-white-thinking-_b_30747.html?ncid=engmodushpmg00000004

Moisan, Adelina (2014) How to Stop Black-and-White Thinking from Destroying Your Life. Date Accessed: May 10, 2018 from: https://www.dumblittleman.com/stop-black-white-thinking-destroying-life/

References:

[1] Javert. (n.d.) Wikipedia The Free Encyclopedia. Date Accessed: May 11, 2018 from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Javert